Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
