he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
