I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
