billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize