Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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