Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
