you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
