Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
