I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
