Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
