So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
