Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize