I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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