If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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