I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
