just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
