he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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