I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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