Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Randomize
