Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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