i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
