Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
