I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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