Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
