We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
