Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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