4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
