That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
