their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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