And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
