I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize