in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
