I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
