Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
