I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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