Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
