she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
