Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
