I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
