OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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