do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
