Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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