I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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