My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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