week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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