She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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