p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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