3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
