Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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