If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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