Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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