are you still at the devil's house?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
