you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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