so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
