gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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