I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
