We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
