Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize