so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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