I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
